Own Your Evolution | From Bitterness to Badassery

YOUR GREEN ENERGY JAM: Embracing an Abundance Mindset

In 2008, I was craving some brain fuel. I felt pulled to Dr. Martha Beck’s life coaching program to become a certified life coach to infuse my psychotherapy training with new ideas and concepts. However, when I looked into her program, the cost instantly deterred me.

Truthfully, it was a lot of cash for a new certification. I put that little wish in a box marked Not For Me. In my mind, that program was for Other People; wealthier people, smarter people, more successful people. I limited myself in many ways like that.

In 2012, the box marked Not For Me kept opening her lid. I had a strong desire to learn a new way of thinking and up level my own life. I had read Dr. Beck’s books and watched her interviews on Oprah. Her words both awakened and soothed me. She was the combination of deep wisdom and wicked wit and I wanted what she was selling.

One night, while pacing my home office like a caged lioness in the search of a new adventure, I asked out loud to the powers that be, to show me the money. (Additionally, I asked for some other random signs that this was the direction for me.) Then I let it go.

You know how this is going to go; my request was granted with gusto. The money showed up by end of the week in a way I would’ve never imagined. The signs I asked for unabashedly and clearly showed themselves and She Who Was Not Enough signed her ass up.

It was my first run in with an (accidental) abundance mindset.

I unconsciously challenged the belief that I couldn’t enroll in the big things in life. This pushed me to minimally believe that there was a storehouse of green energy/resources that could be tapped into when desire meets action.

Money. Love. Sex. Self worth.

Most fabulous humans land in my office to untangle and re-wire one or more of these topics. We learn how to dance with these topics in our early years by listening to how our caregivers discussed and defined them. It is said that our beliefs about money start to solidify around the age of three based on the mentality of those we live with and around.

Hence, we unconsciously adopt a money mindset from our family’s paradigm. In my family of origin, “there was never enough money.” It was deemed pious in my church community to not wish for and not have much. Money was said to be “the root of all evil.” My well intended mother warned me repeatedly that whenever she received an unexpected windfall that she knew an expense to match would follow. It sure did. Every.damn.time. #becarefulwhatyouwishfor

It’s crucial to shine light on and unpack the beliefs we accepted from them. Were our caregivers fiscally responsible? Overly giving with soft boundaries? Were they poor stewards and spend frivolously and carelessly? Did they mirror Ebenezer Scrooge and live a miserly life? Were they greedy? Or did they look for ways to be litigious or overly dependent on the resources of others?

Psychotherapist and CEO of Presidential Lifestyle, Kiné Corder defines 7 different Money Mentalities:

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1. The Spender: this person wants to be rescued or taken care of. They hide their head in the sand when it comes to bills and want others to handle it all for them.

2. The Blamer: feels powerless. They blame others for their lack of finances. Kine Corder states the blamer is usually broke, blaming and borrowing. They don’t take responsibility for where they are or take guided action to improve their situation.

3. The Saver: this mentality is strict and inflexible. They believe having money will make them feel safe and confident. However, they never have enough to feel peaceful.

4. Enthusiast: this type is impulsive, giving, and reckless. They often are pulled to get rich schemes. They have a difficult time earn and growing money.

5. The Hero: long suffering and at times naïve. This type is rescuing others from their poor financial choices. They can be successful and save at times but due to being driven by guilt, they often don’t have good boundaries with their green energy.

6. The Artist: detached, conflicted, passive and at times carefree. Often the artist has shame for their financial gains. They tend to have a love/hate relationship with money.

7. The President: healthy attachment to money. Kine Corder describes them as balanced, wise and disciplined. They know how to prosper and play.

Take note of where you land. Do you live with the idea of possibility or depravity?

How to adjust your loot lens:

1. Cultivate awareness: write down your style or styles and the beliefs that fortify it. Document every belief you were handed down to see them in black and white. (Some of them are comical when you see them in ink.)

2. Start to question them. Often they are such a cemented part of your thinking that it can feel like you are questioning a universal law. Write a healthier belief next to the old one. “I am a epic money manager or it is virtuous for me to be financially stable.” Start to edit out the old thoughts and add positive ones.

3. Get into the feeling state of having more than enough. What does it look and feel like to have what you desire? Fill it out in Technicolor. Money is just paper; it’s value is what you believe it can bring you. Go visit that feeling state often. Your brain will open up more windows when it’s in a calm state + leaning into possibilities. It can show you options and out of the box ways of getting what you crave, need and desire.

4. Concrete goals. Put those down in words or pictures. Are there skills you need to seek to move closer to your desires? Break down your goals into very small, digestible steps. Is there a book, YouTube video or training that would get you closer to your Next Big Thing? Start by doing that. You will gain momentum when you take small actions.

5. Be fair and generous with others. Look for opportunities that feel good to you. Be gracious with what you do have. Like attracts like.

As far as we know for sure, we are only planted on this verdant earth one time (though I always leave room for possibility that it’s more.) There are infinite possibilities how to grow your life and challenge your green energy mindset. Explore the boundless ways to live big, bold and badass while you are here. Ninety years is too short to live small.